Updated: Feb 24, 2020
A conflict with your partner can make you feel attacked or threatened, vulnerable and weak, and this can make you recoil and retreat. When things your partner does upsets you and you feel that you’re under siege, you’re less likely to respond constructively and more likely to resort to old responses and habits.
Why fall back on negative patterns instead of working to actually fix the communication issues at hand?
Conflicts are opportunities for you and your partners to align on values and outcomes. You can understand, appreciate, and embrace differences. Put yourself in your partner’s place and make an effort to understand her experience.
Use humor. This tactic breaks the retaliatory spiral. We have a tendency of retaliating and responding to hostility with more hostility, which creates a vicious cycle that amplifies and escalates the negativity of a conflict.
Humor is a shortcut to solving relationship problems.
Conflict is also an opportunity to learn more about your partner and love them on an even deeper level. It’s an opportunity to add passion and to take your relationship to the next level.
To do this you allow YOU to be your authentic self, because conflict is an opportunity to truly connect with your partner.
Listen to your partner, understand what they’re saying and why they feel the way they do. Be honest about your own feeling and emotions.